Have you ever given so much of yourself that YOU became lost?  

I'm a mom, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, soul sista - the list goes on.  Over the years I was a cub scout leader, party planner, snack mom, whatever was needed - I always raised my hand and stepped up to help.  My friends and family don't open my emails because I'm always fundraising for someone and asking for donations for something.


When my youngest son was 8, he knew he wanted to play in the greatest jazz program in the nation. Volunteering started before he started the program.  By his junior year in high school, I was the first female president of the music booster program, a 20 year legacy at that time :-)  I worked full time, ran the booster program (which had a $300,000 operating budget - no small feat!), and jumped in and helped with every unmanned job to keep the core fundraising events rolling.  This included two large festivals (marching band and jazz band), a crab feed and a wine and jazz event.  That year a comment made it's way back to me.  My son told a friend that he never sees me any more.  This broke my heart. 


I stepped up to help the program so my son could continue to follow his passion.  But somehow that all got lost, as did I.  I was caught up in the obligation, the deadlines, the commitment of others that ended up on my shoulders.  Why was I loosing out with my family so others could enjoy the benefits?  I still don't have an answer for that question.  I'm thinking I have an undiagnosed addiction to volunteering.


My son graduated a year ago, I was free!!!!!!  I was able to get back into photography, finish projects around my house, sleep in every single weekend - or so I thought.  As the weeks passed, I felt a little lost - am I crazy?!?!?!?!  (yes)


So in August of 2011, a dear friend asked me to help with fundraising of an organization she just took over.  YAY I thought, someone needs me!  Immediately we decide to throw a big event and bring recognition to this little group.  I had experience with organizing, let's do a wine tasting event - the leadership team cheered the idea!  Little did I know, cheering the idea was about the extent of the help we would get at the time.  Within a few short months, there were three of us organizing the first ever, Pour Your Heart Out Wine Tasting & Silent Auction.  We had a "hearty" goal to raise money to buy and donate 5 AED's (automated external defibrillators) to our local schools.  We found sponsors, donations, marketing materials, media attention, supplies, a venue - down to the tiniest details.  The event was beautiful, classy, elegant - just what we wanted.  We almost killed each other by the end, but I am excited to say, we exceeded our goal!


So here I am again, at the end of a whirlwind.  I've realized that for the past several years my life has been "if I can just get passed...., I'll get my life back".  I'm always rushing through life and waiting for the "project" to end so I can get back to whatever it is that I do.  


So before I get sucked up into another project that takes me away from my husband, my kids, my family and myself - I decided to take a rest and start working on myself - Project Me!  I started to write down all the little unfinished projects that have been driving me crazy.  I'm going to schedule a vacation getaway with my sweetie.  I'm going to reclaim myself!  Seems like every time I volunteer, I don't take care of myself and the weight piles on.  The wine tasting event was Saturday 2/18.  On Monday 2/20 I signed up for Weight Watchers - the first step of Project Me. Next step, replace the damaged carpet in the hallway!  Or fix the unfinished fireplace, or patch the ceiling in the kitchen from the remodel started 5 years ago, or complete the baseboards in the living room and hallway, or finish the framing around the bedroom fireplace, or finish the restoration in the small bathroom, or hire a gardener so my husband can enjoy his weekends, or find the perfect window coverings.....or just sleep in!  


I do know that tomorrow night I will be watching my son perform before a sold out crowd at The Three Stages!  On Saturday, he wants to teach me how to play golf .. Project Me is off to a great start :-)